I have seen God in many places and instances. I have seen Him through other’s actions and kindness. I have heard Him speak to me on the delivery table when I birthed my first child. I have listened to Him as He gently whispers a conviction into my heart that I must see to. I have known His mercy in times of trouble and sorrow. I have been forgiven by Him when I have so utterly failed Him that redemption seemed impossible. 

But, what amazes me most is when I can see His plan and provisions unfold before me, knowing all along that I would need Him so much during this season of my life. 

Since Samuel’s diagnosis, He has astonished me at the blessings He has put in others’ hearts to lend to us in our time of need. He has woven a beautiful mosaic that has come together so undeniably, just to bring Scott, Maggie, Samuel, and me comfort. 

It started with Christian. Christian, who was sent to me by God, I am certain, is a precious boy with autism. He entered my 6th grade classroom in 2010, and at the same time he made his way into my heart. Single-handedly this precious gift of a child changed my classroom dynamic, in all ways good. I had 2 little boys who were 6th grade teasers, and Christian even touched their lives. They became his walkers to class, his lunch room buddies, his lender of supplies, and his friends. They redirected his behavior and helped him calm when his stimming was unbearable. These children are what books are written about. They are my heroes. 

I ended up keeping in touch with Christian and his mother throughout the years. He is now nearly 16 years old, and I love his family. 

See, God knew HIS plan for my life. He was slowly preparing my heart from caring about my special needs children to loving them unconditionally. They became the teacher, and I, the student. I cannot fully express what that year as his teacher meant to me. The first person, outside of family, I called when we received Samuel’s diagnosis was Christian’s mother. She has been such a wonderful comfort and listener. 

Then, I began to pour over a tool kit called “The First 100 Days After Diagnosis: A Parent’s Guide.”  

As I did this, I was grieving. I was mourning the plans that I had made for Samuel, making all the same memories with him as a toddler that I had made with Maggie. Each section of the kit revealed more and more of Samuel to me, and the tears could not be held back. I tried. They just poured like rain into a river of sorrow. 

It was amazing, though, that throughout that day I would receive a phone call, text, or email from a family member or friend offering words of encouragement, scripture, a shoulder. 

I have had sweet friends offer to send a maid to my house, just to give me some sanity. I have had high school classmates, whom I have not seen in nearly 20 years, message and call me with offers of help in their areas of expertise. My Granny and my mother are both reading the tool kit to learn more about Samuel, too.  

I took Samuel to the park, hoping, praying that this would be the time that he would want to walk and climb and slide. Instead, we sat for 30 minutes, and once he was acclimated to his surroundings, he got off my lap only to lay his head and gently bang it on the rubber mat that lay under the play set. He wanted to deeply feel with his head what he can’t feel as well with his fingers. He didn’t play with or notice the other children. He just sat on the mat touching and enjoying the texture. I was disheartened. I sat and watched him, trying to find the joy in knowing that he got down. He got down from my lap!  That is a step! But, Satan eased himself into a little spot in me that allows fear and disappointment to take over. I sighed, and my phone rang. It was Joy. Joy has been a part of my family’s life for as long as I can remember. She has a wonderful teenager who is autistic. And, she just felt lead to call me in that exact moment. She listened. She related. She blessed me with her call. God blessed me with His calm, and Satan exited. He disappeared as quickly as he entered. 

God knew that I would need her advice and words of wisdom. He knew! 

There is so much more that I could write this evening, and part 2 will come.  So many more parents have reached out to us, though they struggle themsleves with autistic children. They are Godly, wonderful parents. They show me that I can do this because God told them that they could, too.