I am in the midst of such a hard day. I cannot keep Samuel consoled or pacified from hitting his head. Nothing works. He is seeking that input, and no matter what I try, whether it is a ball, another toy, holding him, singing- he is determined to hit his head. He even waged war on the remote control, and the remote won. His little noggin hurts. My heart hurts. He has cried and cried. I have sobbed and sobbed.
During his nap, I said a breath prayer that he would wake refreshed and reset. He didn’t.
I have checked for fever, given him his reflux medicine, rocked him and gotten on the floor with him. All, to no avail.
We have watched Baby Einstein, played on a specialized app for his autism. He usually loves it, but he just hit his head on the screen. Gently, at first, but repetitively until he cried out in pain.
I don’t understand it all. I only know what the doctor has said, and what I have read about the proprioceptive system. I am doing all that I know to do. I feel as though I am not who he needs me to be- I have failed him. I am frustrated that I don’t know what to do to ease his body, and I find myself counting the hours and minutes until Scott gets home and wishing for my mother, all at once. I am alone in this today. Lord, please help me feel your presence.
Waiting for the calm…
thisblandlife 