My folks got here Wednesday, the 18th, just as Samuel was coming down with yet another viral infection. And, while I know things could always be worse, I have had myself a pity party. We should be known as the “Blands of Sick.” In just under 8 weeks, Samuel has had 3 viral infections, vomiting, diarrhea, croup, and flu type B. He had been well exactly 5 days from the flu, when he came down with this latest illness, which, praise the Lord, is not the flu again. He is seeing an immunology specialist on the 25th, and we are praying for answers and the correct treatment for our boy’s weakend immune system. 

So, back to my parents! I took Samuel to the doctor, and Maggie and Scott picked up Mama and Daddy from the Denver airport on Wednesday evening. By Thursday morning Maggie was so sick, as well, with fever and aches. So, I then took her in for a strep and flu test. Both negative- viral, the doctor said. I had not yet gotten my flu shot, so my daddy and I went to Walgreens, and I got mine that afternoon. I was determined not to tempt fate. About 3 hours later, I came down with Samuel’s illness, too! And, because my immune system was already taking on the flu shot, I got even sicker than the kids! OY!  I have to admit I have been impatient with Scott, and I have had my heart on my sleeves. I keep thinking, “Please, Lord! Why can’t we have one, just one, good week? I need this time with my parents. I need to hug my mama and daddy and not worry they will get sick!” 

I wanted to trek into the mountains at Estes Park with them today, but my body was just miserable. I slept most of the day, but I am happy that they got to spend time with Scott, Maggie, and Sam. They watched herds of elk and enjoyed the scenery. 

So, of course, by Friday, Scott was sick, too. He has had it more mildly than the rest of us, but it is spreading fast. And, now I am afraid that my mama is coming down with it, just as my nostrils are allowing me to breathe a little easier. 

But, I have decided to put my big girl panties on and just be thankful that I got to see them. I have missed them so much, and I don’t take this trip they so willingly planned for granted. Not for one second. I appreciate and love them so very much. 

My children have the best Granna and Grandpa in all the land. And there is nothing like a Daddio hug and my mama’s touch, even if they did wear surgical masks and gloves while spraying me with Lysol. Lol. Just kidding!

I am saying prayers that when they are to leave Monday, they will be well enough to fly home. And, I will be looking for Christmas to round the bend, when I can see them again. 

I have been holding onto this precious piece of news for the last few days, as I digested it and praised God for His blessings.  

Samuel said his first word. Oh, to write that sentence seems so very surreal! I am not quite sure that Scott and I believe it, still.  Yet, each time we hear our Samuel vocalize, we are nearly overcome with tears. We don’t want to get our hopes up, but we have an abundance of faith that these will not be Samuel’s only sounds- that one day, he will engage us in amazing conversations! 

At his therapy facility, when his therapist is finished with an instruction or has completed an interaction with Samuel, he or she says, “All done!”  It is said in a sing-song fashion, as he responds beautifully to melodies and music in general. He has been able to hum the tunes to songs that he hears over and over again. It takes a LOT of repetition,  but he has picked up the melodies of 4 songs, so far. 

About 3 weeks ago, when he was in the bath, Scott and I heard him sing-song a 2 syllable rhythm. We laughed and both thought it sounded like, “All gone.” We didn’t really know, because it was just humming at that point. 

But, at the beginning of this week, Samuel was lying in my lap drinking a sippy cup of milk. When he finished, he threw his cup down, held out both hands palms up, cocked his head to the side, and said, “All done!” His interpretion sounds more like, “Aww dumb!” 

Not only did he say those 2 words, but he used them appropriately! We know now that this was the phrase he was trying to verbalize in the bath tub. And, he is saying it at least 10 times a day, now! When he is finished eating- AWW DUMB!  When he is tired of the toy he has- AWW DUMB!  When I am finished changing his diaper-AWW DUMB! 

And, while it takes a lot of echolalia (mimicking) and a long period of time for him to interpret and break it down for himself, he KNOWS these 2 words. He really knows them. 

He says them at school, too! And, all of his therapists are so proud of our boy! 

My prayers are of thanksgiving and praise. My God is so BIG! And, if it takes 3 more days or even another 3 years for other words to come, I am so humbled and filled with gratitude. I have gotten to hear my son’s voice. Thank you, Lord. 

The staccato, contorting thoughts are nearly too many to ferry. The heinous beast is making an appearance, to be sure. I am sometimes aware when it is advancing. But, customarily, its stealth and quick precision capture me with a blind fold that I cannot unbind, relinquishing me into blank obscurity, afraid of what is and what is to come.  

I imagine the kind of darkness on an unlit, rural backroad, in the wee morning hours. Every house  slumbering, every car parked, with  clouds shading the moon and stars into nonexistence.  I am not able to lasso them, in hopes of vanquishing their covering.  Only dawn has the ability to do that. And, dawn takes time. 

So, I will wait for my night to dissolve and for light to quell the beast once more. 

We had an awful weekend, full of stomach flu, sore muscles, and lots of fever! But, we are on the mend! I have never been so relieved to feel better in all my life.  

We finally made the trip to Mount Rushmore, last weekend, though!  I should probably apologize for inundating everyone with pictures on facebook, but I just couldn’t help myself! 

We left Colorado Friday evening, thinking we would make the 6.5 hour drive to Keystone, South Dakota. But, about half way in, we were just exhausted from the day. We stopped for the night in Douglas, Wyoming, and woke bright and early Saturday morning to make it to Mount Rushmore. Autumn was the perfect time to visit. Most of the local shops have already closed for the winter season, and that made traffic a breeze. The crowd was minimal, and the weather was sunshiny and a  breezy 63°. I always envisioned having to walk such a long distance to actually be close to the monument, but it was a short trail and parking was close. Scott and I couldn’t wait to get there, but we were most excited for Maggie. We still don’t know why, but when Mag was just a tiny 3 year old, she insisted that she needed to see “the Presidents’ heads.” She never stopped asking, and she was every bit as pleased as we’d hoped she would be. She wanted to stay forever.

While we were standing in front of the phenomenally carved heads of some of our nation’s greatest presidents, a young, twenty-something girl asked if we’d like her to take our family picture. We agreed, and she immediately tried to get Samuel to look her way. I didn’t particulary feel like explaining Sam’s autism or chromosome disorder, so when she asked how she could get him to smile, I laughed and jokingly said, “Well, he loves Jingle Bells!”

This precious girl replied in song with, “Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh…”

Then, her friend joined, “Oh’er the hills we go, laughing all the way..”

And, THEN, about 15 more strangers joined in, “Ohhh, Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way..”

And, as Scott, Maggie, and I looked into this crowd of unknowns, the multitude grew. Before the song was finished, over 50 Mount Rushmore visitors, of all ages, races, and backgrounds were singing the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. They were singing out of the goodness of their hearts. They were singing for our family’s picture. They were making our autistic son smile, by bringing a little Christmas to October!

Right there, below the Presidents’ heads, in South Dakota, among people we will likely never meet again, God’s goodness came down, and His glory filled all of our souls. 

Scott, and I had tears streaming down our faces, as we were in amazement and disbelief at the pure humanity of our fellow Americans. 

And, when the song was finished, the crowd clapped and cheered, and I told them how thankful we were for this blessing- this display of mankind’s gentleness to our special needs child. 

It was a perfect day. 

My senses are on social media and internet overload. I have had my nose in my ipad and iphone for the entire day and much of last week, while the kids have been sick. I started feeling weighted down this evening by the ever-checking of posts, and the amazon deals of the day. Kidding- well kind of! I am the type of person who becomes very sensitive, after reading one too many awful news articles. I begin to carry other people’s burdens as if they were my own. That can’t be healthy, and I feel the toll it takes on my heart and body. 

I took a 1 month break from my devices, at the end of last school year. I realized how much more engaged with the “here and now” I became. It helped with my depression and my spiritual walk with Christ. So, I am signing off for at least a few days. Everything in moderation, right? 

I will be playing hands of Uno, reading Duck and Goose books, taking trail walks, writing a few thank you cards, buying snow boots, having lunch with my husband, and focusing on my Savior and his plans for my walk with Him- just a few things to get me started. 

After a week of sickness, it seems that Maggie is on the mend. Samuel is still pretty snotty, but I am praying this illness runs its course in the next day or 2. 

We have been locked away in the apartment for the last few days, so we decided to take a drive into the mountains. We have never been along this particular route, and it was just beautiful. We stopped at Clear Creek and let the kids play in the water. Samuel loves grabbing handfuls of rocks and chunking them. The weather at that elevation was about 70° and perfect. We rode with the windows down. It was a much-needed outing. 

We also went to Golden Gate Canyon Park. There is an amazing lookout called Panorama Point. The signs show where to look out across the mountains and each mountain  is labeled. We could see Estes Park from way up there, too.  There are shaded hiking trails, and the leaves are golden on the Aspen trees. Scott and I always try to find places where we think my daddy will want to fly fish when he comes in November. 

Before we left our little city for the peaks, we picked up Samuel’s glasses. When we first put them on him, we were face-timing with my mama. He cried so much. He had his eyes squeezed tightly shut while he wailed. So, we got a book to distract him. Once he opened his eyes, the change was incredible. We could see with our own eyes the recognition of being able to see better with his. He looked at the pictures in the book with such intensity. Then, he held his hands in front of his face and marveled at them. He got off of my lap and watched his feet as he walked. It really was amazing. From that moment, he did not try to take them off again, and the tears never returned. Thank you, Lord!

   
 
 CLEAR CREEK

GOLDEN GATE CANYON PARK  
 
 Estes Park, in the distance.   
    
  PANORAMIC OUTLOOK 

The weather in Superior today was oh so chilly! It was a bundle up kind of day for the Blands. But, it was an open your windows kind of day for the locals. 

We shopped for a few winter clothes, and when we got home, it began to drizzle. It was humid for the first time since we’ve been here, and I closed my eyes and imagined I was listening to the rain back home at my folks’ house. I almost convinced myself! Almost. 

Maggie got a mountain bike a week or so ago, but she is afraid to use the handles to break. So, being the most uncoordinated and wonderful mother that I am, I put my big girl britches on and showed my girl how to ride. She laughed and laughed!  So did I. And, I didn’t convince her! Ha! 

We sat on the steps outside, and I taught her how to play jacks- real, metal jacks. We made it to threesies before the rain really came down. 

When we left Katy, we did not bring much with us. We packed some kitchen essentials, towels, clothes, shoes, and a few toys for the kids. We had furniture delivered when we arrived, but we are living,  essentially, a minimalistic life right now.  I don’t know if today would have ever happened if we’d been in Katy, in our large house, where floors are separated by stairs, and bedrooms are overflowing with stuff. What I do know: a childhood of simplicity is beautiful, jacks are still amazing, riding bikes can’t be beat, and not having a lot is better than having more. Today was a good day. 

Maggie made it through her 1st day as a 5th grader. Her teacher seems warm and kind, and I cannot say enough about the kids who welcomed her today in class. The school reminds me of my childhood elementary days. It has a wide, open playground, and the kids have 2 recesses. 

Maggie, or as she is known here- MARGARET- is most excited about music. She gets to start band or orchestra before junior high age, and Maggie has been pleading to take cello lessons for 2 years. She saw a concert series on TV when she was 7, and she fell in love with that instrument, in particular. So, Friday she’ll be lugging home her school cello. I can’t wait to see how it all goes. 

I met 4 really nice mothers while I was in the pick-up line. All of their kids happen to be in Maggie’s class. They were really sweet and so helpful. 

Tonight, even after a good day at school, Mag climbed into my bed and cried until there were no more tears. She is really homesick. She has only ever remembered our house in Katy as home. We moved in when she was only 19 months old. She misses her Granna pretty badly, too. I can relate so well, as we moved from Louisiana to Pennsylvania when I was her age. It was tough. But, I look back on my year there with fondness. I am praying that for my girl, too. 

We prayed for comfort, and I sang her favorite songs. And, sleep engulfed her. Goodnight, my half-grown baby. 

“You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray…”

“Hush little baby. Don’t say a word. Mama’s going to buy you a mockingbird..”

“I’ve been working on the railroad, all the the live long day..”

“Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so…”

Samuel has been doing something new, as I lie with him at bedtime. Just as he is drifting off into his 2 year old dreamland, he puts his open palm on my cheek, then moves his hand along each part of my face. Over to my mouth, up to my nose, then touching my eyelids, and finally resting on my right ear. It is gentle and such a cherished feeling-that tiny hand, searching my face, knowing the parts in the darkness. I sometimes worry that he will never be able to identify them with words, or even receptively understand them when I repeat and show him. But, I am assured that God has my heart in his palms as much as he has Samuel’s. I am as certain as the morning brings a new sun, that my Master and Savior delivers me these exquisite gifts when I need them. He has shown me that no matter what Samuel will or won’t do in the future, he is cognizant of his Mama’s eyes, mouth, nose, and ears. He is certain of my touch, my scent, my love, and I am humbled by Jesus’s blessings. 

I have been working on memorizing this verse, to hide it in my heart- to use it every time I forget who is in control of my next step in this earthly walk. He is my rock, and I know my footing will be solid, if I stand on Him. 

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. Psalm 143:10

Just 5 minutes, sweet babies. Just 5 minutes, and dinner will be cooked.  

Just 5 minutes, sweet babies. Just 5 more minutes until the laundry is folded. Five minutes more, my child, and the groceries will be put away. The dishes will be loaded. The floor will be vacuumed. The bed will be made. 

Just 5 minutes, sweet children, while I talk to your father. While I make this appointment. While I gather my thoughts. 

Just 5 minutes, sweet girl and boy. Five minutes for a shower. For a cry. For me. 

Just 5 minutes, dear babes. To sit for a moment. To take a breath. To say this prayer. 

Please, please. Just 5 more minutes, my loves. To hold you. To rock you. To kiss you. To right the wrongs. To encourage. To celebrate.  To breathe you in. To keep you small.  To be your mother.